Meeting of the Rubble Club 25th April 2008

Welcome in, Rubble Clubbers, I am Madge Dumpling, your chairman and cook and you have arrived at the world-famous Rubble Club, frequented by pet rock lovers and their adorable little rockies from far and wide. That lovely smell you can smell is my latest tasty invention, crunchy seashell nibbles. They are just as delicious as my rock cakes but instead of adding rock chippings to the seaweed flour and water, I have added finely crushed seashells from Blackpool beach. They're full of goodness! Help yourselves! What's mine is yours, as always, but please don't go rummaging through my cupboards.
Something wonderful has happened this week, Rubble Clubbers, something of great magical proportions. Cast up on the beach, I found a drift of translucent snow-white rock specimens. As we all know, that sort of light-transmitting white rock originates in the mountains of High Heaven, where the angels, ancestors and intermediaries live. Every now and again, when some angelic influence is called for here amongst us mortals, a piece will turn up. As soon as I have used my age-old Dumpling magic to turn it into a pet rock, a runic symbol always appears upon it, a sign from the ancestors, who are very old and still speak in the runes of yesteryear. They have not yet mastered our modern tongue, it seems. Sure enough, once the rune rock has appeared, its rightful owner turns up within the next few days, and the magic is theirs.
It is very rare for such a large cluster to turn up all at once, but nothing happens for no reason. There must be quite a few of you out there who are in need of some special magic at this time, so for once, Rubble Clubbers, you do not need to enter a competition to get something from me. All you have to do is turn up in the Magic Wand Factory shop on Dickson Road, Blackpool and say these magic words...."MADGE DUMPLING HAS A RUNE ROCK FOR ME", and the shop assistant will pass one to you FREE OF CHARGE! You have only one week to get here, though, because rightful owners always turn up within a few days of the magic being set in stone. If you arrive after the 3rd of May, you will be too late. Still, every pet rock has a lucky magic of its own even without a rune, and we can fix you up with plenty of them to choose from. If you do turn out to be the rightful owner of a rune rock, you might consider buying it a little friend to play with. If you have pet rocks already, you will find the rune rock will look after them (and you) like a guardian angel.
So there, Rubble Clubbers, what more can you ask? A magic deal that only those who attended this meeting can ever know about. A rare prize indeed! I have to go and start wrapping them up now, so I'll leave you and your dear little pets to enjoy the party food. Stay well until we meet again next Friday. I remain your magical little friend and devoted chairman, Madge Dumpling.