04/01/2008 by Madge.
Welcome, Rubble Clubbers, Madge Dumpling here again. I understand a happy new year has dawned for you and your lucky little rockies. It will be a very lucky year for you, because pet rock owners like us are always lucky. In Undergrowby, where I live, the new year has not yet dawned, and we Growbies are supposed to be still fast asleep in our fluffy winter cocoons till the Undergrowby Drummer bangs the spring drum. It won’t be yet awhile, because the thorn trees are not even in bud yet, and the rubble is covered in frost. I wish I were asleep myself, but it’s Friday.
When Friday comes, my houseful of pet rocks start to get excited, because it’s Rubble Club day, and they start trembling and rattling in anticipation of your visit, Rubblers. So here I am, rattled awake again, fire lit, pet rocks lined up around the table, hoping their new owners will soon arrive and take them away to where the new year has already dawned, (your house.)
I have just had a thought. Perhaps, like me, you are having trouble finding the right button to press to do what you want to do on your computer. I bet there are hundreds of you out there in cyber space who have been trying to send me your entries for the Rubble Club’s Win-a-pet-rock competition, if only you could find the right button to press to get to me. Well, I don’t blame you, and if I were you,I’d just send me an email instead. (madgedumpling@undergrowby.co.uk)I can read emails. It’s easier than wondering which button to press on this page. Just watch, now the entries will come flying in via email. In case you have forgotten what the competition was about, it was simple. You don’t need to be a genius, although I am sure there are geniuses amongst you, because pet rocks attract the intellectual types, like myself and Duncan the Dunce from the Seven Schools. If nobody sends us any ideas, I am sure we Growbies will come up with something ourselves.
The winner of the competition will be the one who sends me the best idea for the use of my spare sand. I am looking for useful things to do with this bucket full of Blackpool sand I swept up from amongst my pile of rubble. It just keeps blowing in from the west, so I may need new ideas for ever. So far I have had none from anyone, and even Duncan can’t think of anything. (Dunces sometimes see the obvious , simple solutions that more complex thinkers like me and you can easily overlook). Don’t get me wrong, Duncan may be a Dunce at some things, but he is brilliant in his own field, sharpening pencils and collecting the chalk for the teachers. So remember, Rubblers, you can now email me with your ideas, and pet rock information in general, and you may be the lucky winner of that beautiful pet rock (who is still very upset that no one is even bothering to enter).
What’s that? There is someone knocking on the door. It’s Ancient Reg from the Soup Kitchen. I’ll make him wait a few minutes while I have a little gossip about him. He runs the soup kitchen, and he’s always on the look-out for new recipes. When someone started him off with a pet rock collection, he used to come to the Rubble Club every Friday, as new owners should. Then the Soup Kitchen got too busy for him to come and he thought he knew enough about pet rock keeping anyway, and became quite neglectful. Apparently, not long ago, Duncan told him how delicious my gravel stew is , and he was as jealous as could be. He has been coming to the meetings and pestering me for the recipe ever since, but I keep pretending I have lost my pen, or my paper, or my glasses, etc. and keeping it from him as long as I can. He’ll have to adopt a lot more pet rocks and enter a few competitions first. He just can’t sleep for guessing what’s in my stew, I bet. I can hear his pet rocks rattling merrily in his pocket. so at least he remembered to bring them along this time. Get ready to meet your relatives, rockies!
Rubble Clubbers, talk amongst yourselves while I see to Ancient Reg. I am not so ill mannered as to tap away on my laptop while the Rubble Clubbing Growbies are here. They are, after all, real, unlike you, who might just be figments of my imagination. Hoping you are real and will prove it by entering the competition , I remain your devoted Chairman, Madge Dumpling.
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